According to our completely-not-made-up-at-all research, the key to happiness is not speaking at all.
That's why we've established the Silence Bureau, a division of the Zero Tolerance Protocol, dedicated to the art of saying nothing.
Our team of highly trained, completely-not-paid, volunteers will ensure that you never utter another word again.
Don't believe us? Click here for more information.
Or, if you're feeling particularly brave, try this for a more... intense experience.